Sour Girl

On music, Ood, and gleeful things.

2008-04-20T02:16:51Z

So I actually read some reactions to "Planet of the Ood" before I sat down to write my own, and I'm not going to contribute to the discussions because I don't want to start a fight. I'm in an agressive mood and I'd probably end up really wanky or something. I am however going to discuss music and Doctor Who, and also how awesome the Ood/Donna/the Doctor/that guy from Notting Hill are.

Mostly I'm just going to ramble about music again.

Since I'm listening to the song as we speak, I can safely say that the bit of music near the end that everyone seems to be calling Rose's Theme IS NOT IN FACT ROSE'S THEME. If you don't have the soundtrack, go back and watch "End of the World." You know that bit where the Earth has gone all asplodey and Rose is showing the Doctor how to be emo? She's all like, "We were too busy worrying about ourselves; no one saw it go." Something like that. Anyway, the music that's playing in the background is Rose's Theme. The few little bars we got at the end of this episode are from Doomsday. The same motif was used at the end of "Partners in Crime" when Rose appeared/walked away. It's a variation on the Doctor's Theme, not Rose's Theme.

What do I think they mean by constantly using it over and over? Of course it's a constant musical reminder of the loss of Rose. Every time I hear it all I can see is Rose standing at Bad Wolf Bay at the beginning of Doomsday saying "this is how I died." Music is supposed to do that to you. It's supposed to yank out emotions and make psychological wounds feel raw again, or maybe soothe them. A truly gifted composer can do so much with music, and maybe one day I'll write an essay on how Murray Gold has done it exceptionally well with Doctor Who, especially given how extraordinarily rare that is with television scores.

Back to the topic at hand. Here's how the conversation goes:

Sigma: "I think your song must end soon."
Doctor: "Meaning?"
Sigma: "Every song must end."
--insert Doomsday motif here--
Doctor (visibly disturbed): "Yeah, um..."

The music's not really a slap across of the face of "HEY! ROSE IS COMING BACK! HEY!" It's a gentle emotional reminder of what loss feels like. Given the context of the music you hear in the last five minutes, with operatic lines and grandiose themes, it's more a stripped down emotion, bare and painful. It's a simple line, and at its heart it is simply the Doctor. That theme has always been about loss; at first just the loss of his people, then the variation was the loss of a dear friend and companion. You can't really read spoilers in music, that's not what it's there for.

Goodness, I could go on and on about music as it relates to this episode. For starters, the song he has is the song of time and the song of the TARDIS. It's his crazy adventures and his lifestyle. That's the song of the Doctor, and that song will continue long after David Tennant leaves the show. Also, any use of telepathy in the show is always accompanied by music. Not just music, but memorable music, whether it's the Ood or the Doctor or the Bad Wolf!Rose or Madame de Pompadour. And that's enough of music for right now.

Superficial stuff:

1. AHAHAHA! Tennant's hair was fabulous. I don't know what they're doing to make it look soft and extremely spikey at the same time, but I adore it. He practically has a faux-hawk going on. That plus the glasses make me squee a little bit in my pants.

2. Donna Noble rocks my socks. That is all.

3. When I saw the sigma on Sigma's shirt, I giggled quite a bit. I have that exact tattoo on my right shoulder blade! I sometimes wonder if I should add a Theta to it, just cause, but that would defeat the whole point of me getting it (sorority thing...don't ask).

4. Evil boss guy who turned into an Ood was that guy from Notting Hill. He was a lot skinnier then. Eh, he did maniacal rather well, and I liked how he let Sigma go, even if he was pretty much planning on killing the Ood brain thingie.

5. Hey, it's a literal Hive Mind! SWEET!

6. Bees. [snerk] Every season they try to plant little clues along the way of where the big finale's headed. Series 1 was Bad Wolf, Series 2 was Rose's "death," Series 3 was Harold Saxon (hee!), and now the bees. That can't be for serious, yo. I do not want some confrontation with a gigantic bee queen as the finale. Hey, maybe the Daleks are using bees as their material this time for building their species back up! Or maybe the bees discovered some dastardly Dalek plan and the Daleks are systematically wiping them out so they can't alert the stupid humans.

...

I should start writing crack!fic again.

7. Those sales reps were artificially evil, but not as artificially evil as the head security guy. Jeez, was he on steroids or something? "I will RAGE against the Ood and YOU FOR NO APPARENT REASON!"

8. Heh, it's like the cargo crane is a game and the Doctor is the prize. I'd waste a lot of quarters on that game, let me tell you.

9. Martha! MARTHA!! MARTHA!!! I adore her so much more now that she's stopped pining for the Doctor and gotten extremely self-confident and proactive. That year of travel under the reign of the Master did her some good.

Next week promises to be awesome and filled with UNIT-y goodness. Personally I think a Torchwood crossover would be nice about right now, but I still haven't quite forgiven RTD for killing Tosh and Owen. Oh, and BLOWING UP CARDIFF.

speshulduck @ 2008-04-12T08:44:00

2008-04-12T12:50:54Z

OMG THE SIX FEET UNDER EATED MY BRAINZ!!!11!

In other news, Six Feet Under is an amazing show and I can't believe I've waited this long to discover it. Done with the first season and seriously angry that I didn't buy more than the first two when they were on sale at Best Buy last week.

Torchwood

2008-04-08T18:36:16Z

I still haven't seen the finale, however I stumbled across an entry of rm's via metafandom and through there got links to various excellent rec sites for Torchwood fic (del.icio.us is awesome). Through those I discovered copperbadge's Trying to Communicate.

My life is now complete.

obligatory Doctor Who reaction post. a day late and a doctor short.

2008-04-07T15:35:33Z

Lately I've been stuck laughing at the "I has a bucket! Noooo they be stealing my bucket!" elephant seal Lolcat. First of all, NO, I have no idea why it's so funny. It just tends to send me into hysterics and at work we get very giggly around three or four in the morning and I start saying things like "I has a chair. Nooo they be stealing my chair!" and for some reason it is hilarious. I think it might be the caffeine and the whole mid shift thing.

Anyway, point of that is that sometimes I want to make a Lolcat-type thing with the Doctor and Rose hugging on one side and Pete grabbing her from the end of Doomsday on the other side. It would of course say "I has a companion! Nooo they be stealing my companion!"

Meh, the market for that humor might be a little small.

"Partners in Crime." Right. Aside from the fact that they weren't really partners in anything, much less crime, the characters rocked my proverbial socks. The talking through the window scene? Priceless. Granted I was already sitting on the floor, but I actually fell over laughing at that one. I was really looking forward to Donna coming back, and while her change of heart seemed forced (I wouldn't have ever pegged Donna's aggressive personality that would have such a huge turn around), there was something so genuine in her exhaustion with the real world I couldn't help but like it. She'd made all these resolutions to change her life and see all she could, but the reality of it was so dull and pale next to what she knew she could have had.

At first I thought RTD was going to head the Sarah Jane route with Donna. I felt a bit proud of her for a moment when I thought she was getting into trouble and investigating stuff just 'cause. Then there was a moment of conflicting "well, I don't really want Sarah Jane all over again," but all my inner turmoil ended once Donna revealed she was really just looking for the Doctor. I guess we head down the road of Jack now: getting in trouble just to find the Doctor, because you know he's going to be right in the middle of it. Except Jack had a rather valid reason to want to find the Doctor, in that "hey, Doc, I came back to life because of you and now I can't die and I'd kinda like to know WTF IS GOING ON because ending up as a tentacle-y giant face is so not on my list of things to do in the next five billion years."

I digress with many apologies; Jack can be so distracting. Where were we? Ah yes, how Donna came off as a bit pathetic not just because she's spent an awful lot of time investigating random shit just to find the Doctor, but also because she keeps her trunk packed full of random crap. And a hatbox! That'd be like me not dating anyone just in case David Tennant turns up at my door to declare his undying love. I mean, I have to keep my romantic schedule free, just in case!

So I'm still a bit proud of her for getting into trouble and investigating stuff. She was really getting into it, and I'm rather curious if that card she kept flashing at people was one of those credit cards with your picture on it. In any case, she's gotten a bit more clever since the last time we saw her, even if Lance was exaggerating a bit ("can't even point to Germany on a map!"). I'd almost say they're very nearly two different characters, but in her quieter moments from Runaway Bride I'm very sure I see the same woman. I admit to a huge friendcrush on Catherine Tate (that means I have a platonic I-want-to-be-your-friend crush, as opposed to my sexual I-want-to-jump-your-bones crush on David Tennant). I find her comedy uproariously funny for some reason.

As for the plot, wow. I thought it couldn't get worse than Voyage of the Damned. Apparently I was wrong. There was absolutely no sense in this plot whatsoever, and the Doctor's half-hearted attempt to save Mrs. Foster at the end was just...flat. I think David Tennant's a brilliant actor (obviously), but he didn't even try with that bit. Though, mind you, I wouldn't have either with such poor material; RTD really needs to leave the writing to someone else. "Hey, float over here 'cause they're gonna kill you!" [she falls] "Whoops. Oh, well."

The little creatures were rather adorable, though every time they got all cute this was pretty much my reaction: "Aww, they're just so cu...EW THEY'RE MADE OF PEOPLE'S FAT!" I think the loudest shrieking fanbrat could probably shit out a better plot idea than that.

This already way to tl;dr, and I haven't even gotten to the part that's probably got fandom all in a tizzy. I'm refusing to look, though maybe I should check fandom_wank in about a week or so to see if anything's blown up really badly.

First and foremost: "I'm looking for a mate."

Can I get a "what the bloody fuck?!" A mate?! I know it was in the season preview, but I was expecting some sort of silly alien-induced plot where the Doctor has to mate or die. I wasn't expecting a randomly tossed off line in the first episode, though this is probably the better place to get rid of a garabage line. Why not just have the Doctor say "I'm looking for a good fuck, can I take you for a test drive?" I think in a couple years we're all going to look back and say that this is what happens when romantic relationships get in the way of a great scifi show, and that it is a Very Bad Thing.

I presume this line is supposed to be a reference to how much the Doctor has been affected by his relationship with Rose and his subsequent relationship with Martha. He went from romantic (and yes, it was) to friendship where she wanted more. Now he's been left on purpose and he's realized how desperately alone he is. Well, fan-fucking-tastic. Welcome to the club, Doctor. Urgh, my hate for this stupid line is blinding me with rage and I think I'm just going to leave it alone for now.

So it's mate in the friendship context then. I almost went off about that possibility too the first time through, but decided in the whirlwind of fury that I should just cut the tl;dr short. Methinks I need to rewatch soon, as by that point I was sort of tuned out of the episode and wishing they'd just hurry up and get on with the vworping away on adventures.

I still rage against the way they marketed it ;)

Moving on. "You look older."

Hell yes, he did. I'm not saying David Tennant's sprouted wrinkles in the last year, but either the role is really starting to weigh down on him or he's playing the Doctor as a very emotionally exhausted old man. I don't know how much time has passed between Voyage of the Damned and Partners in Crime, but I think the Doctor's earned the right to be tired at this point. He spent a year as an ancient little thing, then got his timeline crossed with his younger self, then had that rubbish adventure on the Titanic. I think the man's earned a stiff drink and a nap by now, and probably a good screw on top of that too.

That part where he says that ridiculous line, where he's standing outside facing the TARDIS and Donna is standing in the doorway? Maybe it was the lighting, but he just looked so old and dark and tired. I'd like former Prime Minister Harriet Jones to see him now and have a few words with him. I think he might have an apology for her by now, because I still believe he acted like an asshat at the end of Christmas Invasion.

Rose.

Uh. Yeah.

I was clicking around trying to find a download very shortly after the episode aired, and inadvertently exposed myself to spoilers about her presence. Whatever, it happens. I wish it hadn't, but it did and there's no use dwelling on it.

To discuss it logically -- with no squeeing involved -- I can't imagine she knows who Donna is and we certainly know Donna has no idea who she is. There's no sign that she even saw the Doctor, if her vaguely lost and confused expression was any indication. I'm willing to bet that latter we'll find out she did see and hear everything and was hurt by the Doctor's apparent acquisition of a new companion to replace her (as she is presumably ignorant of Martha).

If she did indeed hear everything, then maybe the lost/confused look was wistful and sad because she couldn't do anything for him and his massive amounts of emo woe. Cause she, y'know, turns around and disappears. Okay, I get it. She's not in this world. I know she says "this is how I died" in Doomsday, but did she also say something about becoming a ghost? I have this false notion planted in my brain that she did and I have loaned away my DVDs so I can't check. Is this some sort of projection technology that mirror!Torchood or mirror!UNIT developed? Is this some sort of unintended after-effect of the Doctor's last communication with her? [sarcasm]Is this the overwhelming power of their looooove?![/sarcasm]

(Jaysus, you'd think I didn't ship them liekwhoa. I must harbor some pretty deep-seated self hatred.)

So, to sum up the episode. Plot = shit. Characters = love. Rose = ??

I really want to go to bed, but I have to stay up all day to switch back to the day schedule for a couple days for a class, then try to switch back to mids for regular work again. Urg.

Also, a mix CD of Billie Piper after 12 hours of work is amazingly cheerful and adds a boost of happy to leaving work. Also, additional happy from breaking all my co-workers' brains with it, especially when they won't. Shut-up. About. World of Warcraft. All my co-workers are males, by the way.

omgsoimpatient

2008-04-05T20:24:44Z

[bounces impatiently]

Where's Doctor Who? You'd think a file of the episode would have been stuck up on a torrent by now.

[bounces more impatiently]

...

C'mon! I have to go to work soon and I wanted to have the download done when I got home tomorrow so I could watch it before I crashed the hell out. Don't let me down, crazy/wonderful/nerdy/enthusiastic fandom.

ETA: mininova for the win!

floating in the abstract

2008-04-04T06:13:32Z

I love music, I really do. There is nothing on this earth that I love more (except maybe family). Y'know that perverse question people like to ask -- which one would you rather be: blind or deaf?

I mean, god that's sick. What would possess a person to ask that? I never have and I never will. It's like that board game that used to ask the questions like: "which would you rather drink, a gallon of hot dog water or a shot of someone else's toe sweat?" That's a fantastic idea! Let's just dwell on the worst situation possible and consider it fun! No wonder humanity is so fucked up.

Anyway, my personal debate was always "well, if I was blind I couldn't read, but if I was deaf I couldn't listen to music." Don't get me wrong, I love reading, but I think I've finally concluded that if I couldn't hear music for the rest of my life I might as well be dead. There is nothing in this universe -- nothing so grand and certainly nothing so trivial, which may explain the popularity of fanmix -- that cannot be expressed in music. Music can whip or soothe the blood, enrage or calm your inner demons, incite riot or appease the masses. Music is beyond knowing, and yet it just is.

Which brings me to the point of all this rumination. I love music that makes me feel good. I've been listening to an abnormally high amount of Billie Piper's ~~Shit~~BritPop lately because it's just so damn cheerful that I can't help smiling. I need that cheerfulness and her music gives it to me.

Tonight I ended up listening to "Madame de Pompadour" from the 1 & 2 Series Doctor Who soundtrack. Again. I tend to listen to it on repeat whenever I'm reading long and involved Who-fic. Or just angsty Who-fic. There's a certain texture to it that lends well to torturous woe-ridden fics. Probably that whole minor key thing it has going on. I'm not a professional musician; I was just raised in a house where both my parents were. Music wasn't something that you randomly came home from elementary school one day and said "Hey, mom and dad! There's this thing called a flute that my teacher wants me to learn how to play!"

Music in my house just was. And it still is. Mom remarried and moved to Norway, younger sister moved up to New Hampshire to snowboard all the time, and I joined to Army. But Dad gave me an electric guitar for Christmas because I wanted more music, and in the next room there's a piano I can play whenever. My flutes are over there too, as well as a couple trumpets, Dad's bassoon and contrabassoon, a complex keyboard, a complete set of recorders, some weird things that I'm not entirely sure what they are, and a wall full of records. I've always got music playing; hell, I have an iPod/speaker set just for the bathroom when I'm in the shower.

So tonight I was listening to "Madame de Pompadour" and I paused it, hummed the first note to myself to keep the pitch in mind (lord knows I'd kill to have perfect pitch), and went into the next room to play the melody quietly on the piano. I added a few chords eventually, worked up some variations on the line, shifted into a major key for a while. I have not taken a single piano lesson in my life, and I think I stopped with my flute lessons around seventh grade. I merely absorbed all this...this wonder and feeling from growing up in this house. I can't imagine what I'd be without having had the opportunity. I cannot conceive of a world in which I would not be able to go into the next room and just...just play with things I'd heard.

I think if I'd ever had lessons beyond what I did have, I wouldn't enjoy music so much (especially piano -- lessons probably would have killed any enjoyment of that instrument). Instead my parents let me explore music for the pure joy of music. Y'know that scene in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts is at the opera and is crying from the sheer beauty and emotion of it all?

Yeah, it's kinda like that.

enragement = empowerment

2008-03-26T04:52:38Z

So over the last couple weeks I've been reading the building wankstorm of:

ZOMG RADICAL FEMINIST YO! vs. Feminism is good, but chill out vs. holy fuck, calm down, you crazy people

It's been kind of amusing, so naturally I have things to say. Also, I may or may not have just made a comment in one of the debates. So here's my obligatory entry.

Radical feminists? So losing this battle. I mean, that's kind of self-evident when you take on the entirety of the slash fandom. No, not ONE slash fandom. All of them.

...

Take a moment to think about the magnitude of "all slash fandoms."

...

Yeah, that's what I said.

I realized as a radical feminist, Dissenter may have not realized what she was getting into. After all, she probably (and this is pure conjecture based on the overall tone of her essay) would not condescend to interact with the banal and common folk that comprise the slash fandom. We tend to be silly, over-dramatic, and -- very oftentimes -- ridiculously hyperdefensive of our particular pairing. The same could be said of het fans. And femslash fans.

Oh, but that's right. Dissenter doesn't want to hear about femslash because women are still ZOMG OPPRESORDZ!!!1!!!

I don't care how fantastic and perfect someone's arguments are; if you couch the arguments in terms, discussion, and diction that place them in an inherently negative light, the targeted group will feel offended. And they will react negatively, angrily, and sometimes even violently. The topic will spread, the link will get distrbuted -- insidiously at first, maybe then openly, and then with an open-air mocking. A sense of "Holy shit, can you believe what this girl said?!"

Crazy idea, I know, but true.

The comments that haven't been screened (yet) are screaming for a research log, and I would echo the sentiment. I must be the 2^x person who's requested the fansites where she's been getting her slash, but as of yet I see no result. And I am more and more inclined to feel like a pissed off, angry, offended slash fan. And that's considering I'm pretty much an Anyone/Anyone shipper. Slash? Good for the guys; mmm, more of what I see in Torchwood? Brilliant! Het? Oh yeah, Doctor and Rose, you get on with your crazy het selves! That's fuckin' hot!! Alex and Olivia on SVU? Hell yeah, I'll still read that!

Strangely enough, this has made me curl up into a little het-defensive ball on the floor. The kind that screams "LEAVE MY DOCTOR/ROSE SQUEE ALONE!!!"

I know they're my OTP, but this is vaguely embarassing. And also mildly confusing, as slash is the target and not het.

...

Wait, so you're saying any attack on any radical-feminist-approved-sexuality is an attack on my sexuality? Well, SHIT!

Also, I think this undermines me from the start, but I'm giving in to the temptation here and now to call these radical feminists cheesy stupidheads that like to eat their own farts. I feel this is the level upon which they've engaged me, so I welcome their return volley.

ETA:
To break slash down for the people that dun ge't:
1 penis + 1 penis = 2 much fun!

ya fun!

EETA:

BUNNY IS WIN!

Alcohol and Me: a short story of love and drunkity-drunk-drunk

2008-03-18T00:46:09Z

So here's St. Patty's day and me, the semi-alcoholic, does not have a drink in her hand? I should fix that.

Beer. And it's German. Meh, at least it comes in a green bottle. I love me some Grey Goose appletinis these days, but the way I mix them they're not so much green. They look like someone took a couple drops of green food coloring and shook them up in a two liter bottle of water. That's a good appletini. Also, German beer > Guinness.

I think it's a fair estimate that one-twentieth of my life is a blur because of alcohol. It's not that I black out and do stuff that I don't remember -- I've only had a couple incidents of that, which I never care to repeat, thankyouverymuch. I'll drink enough to the point where the next day I remember what I've done, it just kind of runs together in one big smear of drunken revelry. Maybe not so much revelry, as much of it is by myself. Drunken numbness? Yeah, I have become comfortably numb, to quote someone far more profound than I could ever be.

My mom fixed me a drink on my eighteenth birthday because I'd never had one before. I was a good kid and had -- I shit you not -- never had more than a beer. Probably not even a whole beer. Given my proclivities these days, this is somewhat shocking. So she sets down this Rum and Coke in front of my and I take a sip...and I hate it. It turns out I'm not fond of rum. At all. I went through a phase of dark rum on the rocks a couple years ago, and I'm still not sure how the hell I managed that. Might've been the post-relationship depression (since I thought I'd found The Mythical One, and then she stopped calling). I think rum tastes like fingernail polish remover. In a word: nasty.

So she fixed me something else. Must have been much better because I don't remember what it was. She wanted me to get drunk at least once before I went to college, so I did. And then I went to college. I still remember the night of my first party. It was the end of Early Week (read: Band Camp) and I was introduced to the fact that band kids know how to party. We were waiting for the campus bus and Clint Morrow drove by in his tiny-ass car and somehow managed to cram like six tuba players into this little two-door. We got to 624 (a Kappa Kappa Psi apartment) and I don't remember much else because every night at 624 runs together in one joyous outburst of beer and Honi and Dutchman and don't eat the fru--EAT THE FRUIT!

If you are unaware, fruit that's been soaking in grain alcohol for a couple days is wicked strong. If you eat enough of it you really won't remember the next day and my responsible self is probably the one holding your hair while you heave your guts out into the toilet. The trick is to frontload it; eat a few pieces at the beginning when you can grimace away the taste. The taste is what keeps you from eating too much. Fruit at the start will get your drunk on, but fruit near the end will make you revisit all the alcohol you drank that night in the most unpleasant manner possible.

College is just a blur to me now. Four wasted years with good people and more drama than I care to remember. One of these days I'll go back to a sorority meeting and sit in the back. Maybe I'll snicker a lot and proclaim how I truly am old and bitter now instead of just feeling like it. Life after college is...real. And painful. And wonderful. I love life so much it hurts some times.

I got depressed and dropped out. Or maybe I just thought I was depressed. I don't know. I want to go back and give myself a severe talking-to, but then again if I hadn't dropped out I wouldn't be here now and having a great time at being a grown up. I have no idea where I'd be if I stayed, but I wouldn't be here and I like it here.

I did a lot of things in the mean time. Like drink. I worked and did some stuff and got ready to join the Army. And I drank. Couldn't get myself in any other kind of altered state, but I could drink. Being of legal drinking age is so convenient.

I was sober for all of Basic Training of course. I'm many things but I'm not stupid, and basic is too exhausting to even think of doing anything outside the rules. The first few months of AIT I did nothing but drink on the weekends. It was like college all over, only with some restraint during the weekdays. Then they gave me some responsibility and wham, bam, I start doing a bunch of extra work. Maybe I'll get around to finishing/editing my AIT portion of the "Story of my Life" one of these days. Point is, I still drank, but not that often. And when I did it was either drink very heavily or drink and get bored and go back to the barracks and beg for some work to do. Pathetic, no?

So here I am now, drinking at what I consider a casual rate. I usually have at least one drink a night, weekends definitely more. According to the Army safety briefings on alcohol I'm an alcoholic and a binge drinker, since I consume more than five drinks in one night more than once a month. And I'm a girl? Wooooboy! I'm just ripping through my liver like there's no tomorrow.

Or so the Army says anyway.

And that's my love affair with alcohol.

I have somehow started work on two fanmixes and am contemplating signing up for what could be the last Multiverse Crossover Challenge. Plus this is entry three in less than a week? Oh yeah, I'm so totally back...and LJ promptly explodes from too much SUP.

fandom tag-team

2008-03-17T01:17:54Z

[cringes] Why did I have to find the fangirly squee of "OMG BILLIEEEEEEE AND DAAAAAAAAVID!!!!!!11!!1" And I spotted an icon I made two years ago. Funny thing is that I know there are reasonable people hiding in T&C somewhere...

[backs out of the fandom slowly]

...

So, I hear this "Dexter" thing is pretty awesome.

So what if I ramble?

2008-03-12T22:22:10Z

Went to the Caribbean for a week on a cruise. That was nice. Didn't start hanging out with the cool people (read: the crew) till the last night there. Damn. Met a very nice stowaway, brother of one of the waitresses. I say "very nice" because I convinced him to talk to me for two hours just because he had the most adorable Scottish accent. Also, we were both drinking heavily and had the most delightful conversations about politics. Hearing Bush cussed out by a drunken Scottish guy is hilarious.

Anyway, HELLO!

I made the mistake of actually reading my flist today, for there was who_daily with the usual, except I haven't been online regularly in forever and have now read spoilers.

Well, shit. Rose is coming back? Not that I don't like her, mind you, I actually like her quite a lot. It's just that I really like her where she is. Y'know, in the show's past? There's always fanfic in which we can dwell, but the past is passed and that's that. [sigh] And what's all this about a companion death? Not knowing anything more than that, my money's on Donna. Sad really, as I think Catherine Tate is made of awesome. Oh well, if it's Rose I'm never coming back to tht'e fandom. Fandom_wank maybe to point and laugh, but I'm not getting involved in that wankstorm. It'll probably be worse than the whole "Half-Blood Prince" debacle. Remember when that one Harmonian chick started rewriting it "her way?" And all the wild n' crazy "HA I TOLD YOU SO!" from the...uh...what did the Ron/Hermione folks call themselves again? Possibly the SS Get-A-Fucking-Life. All I remember is a bunch of nautical references and Doctor Who killing Snarry and me deciding to back away slowly. Is that fandom still wanky? Pity, since it had some of the best fanartists around.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, which is to say Doctor Who or something. I really need to take all the Torchwood crap off my flist. I like the show, but I have yet to find any good writing for. Not that I'm looking very hard. Working 14-hour days is kinda killer on the online time. Also, Rock Band/Guitar Hero have EATEN MY SOOOOOUL. Found a Doctor Who meet-up in my area, but the ringleader is about to get deployed to Iraq (or was it Afghanistan?) and dunno if they're going to do it anymore. I feel kind of starved or discussion about it. Did I ever even post about how bad the Christmas Special was? I watched it again with domestik_diva a couple weeks back because she hadn't seen it yet. However, she still hasn't seen much because we were giggling so badly through the whole thing. She's starlight?! Oh, RTD, you've been dropping the bad acid. I think the highlight had to be her putting down the box so she could get within kissing range. Made me think of X-Files and how they used to have Gillian Anderson stand on a box in some scenes because she was so damn short. And the fat, normal people in purple cowboy gear made me happy, but then they died. I swear, this fandom can't have nice things. However, the whole angel thing and most especially them flying him upwards? Was stupid. Very stupid.

And while I'm on the subject of old things, I never got all squeeful over Time Crash. I shall remedy this at once. Squee! Brainy specs. Heh, beard. I don't have anything more coherent than that, except that I adored the way David Tennant said "...and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable." Something about the way he pronounced it made me laugh.

I think I'm going to do something totally pointless and redesign my journal. It's not like I use it, but it's better than turning on my Xbox and wasting time pretending to play an instrument.

speshulduck @ 2008-01-08T04:47:00

2008-01-08T09:52:28Z

Torchwood is going to kill me.

I am obviously not so much up on the internet thing anymore, but I at least knew we were getting new Torchwood starting in January. However, this? KILLZ ME DED.

I was all excited when the clip started. James Marsters is slamming a long line of shots at a bar? I'm totally down with that. Then there was stalking and innuendo-ridden looks and then...then I died of happiness. Kissing and punching and wrestling and gleeful laughing and all kinds of things that are designed to induce fangirly squeeing in me. AND accompanied by Blur's "Song Two." Fuckin' A Right! Although I will get this quesiton out of the way now: what the heck is James Marsters wearing? It's like Sgt. Pepper's gone horrifically goth.

"It's more fun when he's around though."

[all agree]

Heh.

Watch me geek-out

2007-12-31T07:40:45Z

I am getting seriously excited about the new Star Trek movie.

I just wanted to share that. And I might have to change this icon.

I was skeptical at first, but wow. This thing is either going to blow hardcore or be the best Trek movie since Wrath of Khan. Also, I have a mad crush on ~~Sylar~~ the new Spock already. And probably the new Kirk too. Actually, everyone's hot. And SIMON PEGG IS SCOTTY!!! Most random casting choice ever, but hey, he's made of awesome.

...actually I still need to pick up Hot Fuzz. The next time I reappear someone tie me down and force me to buy it. Because Simon Pegg is awesome and I need more than just Shaun of the Dead and his role as the Editor on Who to remind me of that...

Wait, if everyone's hot does that mean I'm going to end up shipping everyone with everyone? And on a fandom note, is this going to spawn new generations of Trek fans who refuse to have anything to do with nerds like me, nor my canon? Will any new fans won to the franchise refuse to watch the older stuff? Gasp, will Enterprise be considered too...old?

Oh who am I kidding? No matter how cool or badass or modern this movie is, it's going to have the social stigma of "Star Trek" associated with it, and any part of the market that's able to be seduced by Trek is already hog-tied, duct-taped, and tattooed over in the corner to later be sold as feeder for shows like Who and Galactica. And we'll be in our smelly corner mumbling through the duct-tape about how Star Trek has be shit since Voyager and that prequels have ruined America.

Or something. I'll probably be squeeing quietly to myself so no one else hears.

speshulduck @ 2007-10-23T23:15:00

2007-10-24T03:17:57Z

[sporfles]

Brokeback to the Future. I love it. Unhealthy amounts of love. YouTube is the best thing on the internet.

Except for porn.

Doctor Who: Come Out of the Shade

2007-10-23T07:29:31Z

I...wrote something. [is surprised] It's a rather stupid Whofic, but it's deeper than what I've been doing lately. Satellites are cool, yo, but they're not exactly for the literary-inclined. Maybe if I write more it'll make me come back to the fantastic and wide world of The Intarweb.

Title: Come Out of the Shade
Author: duck
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing: Uh, Nine/Rose and Ten/Rose if you really wanna read it that way.
Author Notes: Named for the Perishers song of the same name. Cause yeah, it might be something that felt a lot like but wasn’t love. Un-betaed because I haven’t written anything in such a long time that it’s really just me stretching my fingers over a keyboard. Oh yeah, duck your head, as there are a lot of Very Unneccessary Capital Letters.

He’d never stopped once and considered, never thought past the immediate; the right now, the here, the visceral sensation of what is and what will be. Never thought about the consequences of one leading to the other, never thought about exactly how what is becomes what will be. The endless permutations and branches never occur to him. They just are, and it’s as though he’s aware of them without being conscious of them.

He lives for the moment all the time, every moment of every day. The only times he doesn’t are when he’s planning what moment to live in next. Whether to feel utter joy, utter pain, utter despair, utter hope. His emotions are fleeting, yet they course deep for at least the moment he feels them. For they are never his own, always born of history, of future, of someone else’s joys and pains. They belong to someone else, and he can shut them away when he’s done with the moment. Compartmentalized by learning, even a wise man loses himself to the nature of his training.

And he always resists it, tells himself he’s living far beyond what he was ever trained to be. He’s a rebel, yet he’s conforming without even realizing it. He thinks he feels and he thinks he’s passed their aging and out-dated mode of living.

Or at least he does until they’re all gone.

Then he realizes he’s alone, so terribly alone, and it burns -- a raging fire of loss and hate and fear. It burns within him until there’s nothing left of his compartments, of his emotional detachment. It burns until there’s nothing left and he regenerates into an empty husk, a shell of a man determined to fill himself with other people’s joy and pain once more. Because that’s all that’s left to him.

It’s all madcap, death-defying – or perhaps death-daring – adventures for a while. So long does he spend on cataloguing the feelings of others and filing them away inside himself, that he loses track a time. A Time Lord, forgetting time. He’s dizzy in this mixed up life of his, so long has he been at it. Hundreds of years, he thinks. And his people are all gone, so he finds other people that are less than himself and less than his people. Because there’s nothing else. There’s Nothing Else, and it’s a silence so deep and so heavy it presses on him every day. And every day time slips away from The Last Time Lord a little bit more.

And then there’s her. It’s not the Her that is his ship. She’s the alpha and the omega of women in his life. But it is a companion. He hasn’t found someone to travel with him in so long he forgets how to ask, so he has to ask twice. She’s worthy of it too, in her own way. Companions are always worthy of it in their own way. No two are ever quite the same, even if they do share startling characteristics. Even ones as simple as the way they take their tea.

So she travels with him for a while. He remembers Time and all that Was and all that Will Be. He’s aware of it – made painfully aware by the sting of loss. He finds himself accepting dying once more, rebirth in a new form for her. He names himself a coward, but he has the barest inkling of the true bravery that lies in his heart. Bravery named true by his choice and by his sacrifice.

He would never admit it, but there’s love in his heart. Deep in his very sense of self, in the thing he’s nearly forgotten, he’s remember how to love. He loves a people, a planet, a shopgirl from London maybe. They’re not his people, not his planet, and certainly not his girl, but he loves them instinctively all the same. The first two he’s loved without being fully aware of it for nearly his entire life. The latter is a recent development.

There’s a certain sense of frenzy in their journeys after that. “Life is short” seems to be the message, but he’s lived for hundreds of years and life is all relative anyway. Speed is relative. Experience is relative. Everything, nothing, it’s all relative in the end.

They see so much, feel so much. He won’t admit it’s not all someone else’s feelings. He wouldn’t care for a simple shopgirl from London. He’s The Last Time Lord, and Time Lord’s were never much for care. The kind of care that makes you hold all of time and space in your hands and protect it yes, but not the kind of care that lets you stop and look at one tiny individual in the vastness of time. Importance is relative, and when you stand one person next to even just a small dwarf star, the person comes out rather insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

But it’s the very basest of elements with which he’s always concerned himself. It’s a pattern of behavior and he can’t break it now. Whether subconscious or completely self-aware, he cares for the individual. He knows the rules, knows which ones he can save, which ones he can’t, and which ones he has to.

Letting go of the individual hurts the worst. He let his entire species go with less heartbreak because he’d never felt for himself before. In losing his species he learned the nature of loss. They’d taught him the meaning of emotion, but the lesson learned in life was much more frightening, much more all-encompassing. Thus the grief of losing her was felt more keenly for having learned the bitter taste of absolute and total loss.

And now he’s lost. And he feels a different burn inside this time. A quiet and persistent and loathsome burn that says maybe for once he felt something for himself. Felt something of himself. He reaches out his hand, feels through the vastness of time and space and dimensional rift. Feels her slipping away, feels the sharp absolute of Never Again.

He never thought to feel the Never Again again, but here he is with it tearing his gut from his body. Feeling this pain isn’t like feeling the pain of others. There’s a certain safety in that, the safety of relativity and distance. This pain is immediate and constant and aching. He’s always lived for the immediate, and now the immediate drags out into the persistent and it’s like he’s wakening to a whole new way of thinking.

So he kills a star to make part of the Never Again not true – never again would he speak to her, hear her, see her – because if he can prove part of it wrong, that makes the rest of it wrong too, even if he can’t prove it right now. He flips the relativity; the tiny individual is more important than the furnace in the heavens. The star could have given rise to a thousand species, a hundred thousand, a million, but he doesn’t care because he thinks – KNOWS – the individual was worth it. Altering history is for suckers; he’s a Time Lord, he’s The Last Time Lord.

But afterwards? Afterwards he still has to walk away. He’s relative, just like everything else. Now he has his own joy and pain. And the best lesson he’s ever learned is that it’s worth it.

speshulduck @ 2007-10-23T01:30:00

2007-10-23T05:37:32Z

Five and Ten? At the same time? That deserves a "ZOMG!!!!!!!!!11"

...

Okay, I'm better now. Er, actually, I don't think I've ever used the term "ZOMG" before. Goodness me, I hope it's not contagious.

Choose the Right Sexuality For You!

2007-10-02T01:20:55Z

I was sitting around reading the paper and contemplating doing some work when I realized that I was very with angry with the world at the moment and had been for a while. At the end of writing this I realized I should put it somewhere where it would be appropriate, like LJ! I know I haven’t been around since April when I said I was back and then it turned out I wasn’t really. But I had no where else to go with this and I don’t care if no one reads it. I know it’s here and it has definitely helped me vent some frustration.

I was ruminating on how I would have to define my potential job and marital happiness on whether I fall for a woman or a man. Two and a half years ago I was very much in love with a woman, last year I was very much in love with a man. It’s not like I really have a choice in the matter. Here’s where I expect the usual “But homosexuality IS a choice!” It’s my turn to tell you to sit down and shut up. Did you ever sit down and weigh the sexuality “options?” As a man did you ever say, “Hmm, I think I’ll find women sexually attractive for the rest of my life.”

No? So you’re saying you never decided on heterosexuality? Oh man, if sexuality is a choice you really need to reconsider your options and make an informed decision. I wouldn’t want you relying on your own feelings in the matter. Better yet, maybe society could make the decision for you.

How about I help you review the options? If you’re a man and considering going gay, let’s look at what we have. Unfortunately there is a bit of a stigma to consider. You’ll probably be considered flighty, effeminate, and superficial, even if you’re nothing of the sort. Also, you can’t be a good father, a mentor, a mentally stable or reliable individual, or a caring person. There’s also a thirty percent chance your neighbor will think you molest small boys worse than Michael Jackson. On the other hand, you get to stare at such hotties as Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger getting it on, since Brokeback Mountain must be your favorite movie if you’re a gay man.

If you’re a woman considering becoming a lesbian, you’re also going to have to contend with stigma. You be thought of as butch, man-like, and unfashionable. I bet you’re a dirty, man-hating hippie too, aren’t you? You could never hack it as a good mother and I bet you’re not even religious. And exactly how long have you been wearing that pair of Birkenstocks? On the plus side, guys seem to love the whole impossibly hot lesbian thing, so maybe you can make some money in amateur porn if you’re so stunningly good looking that no one dares to call you manly. Oh hey, and forget that Brad Pitt guy, you get to lust after the likes of Angelina Jolie AND Jennifer Aniston!

Now, for the guys considering going bisexual, I’m not even going to touch on you. You don’t exist. Sorry. If the Army has taught me anything it’s that guys are either men or fags. Forget you metrosexual fucks; you all are more confused than the fags.

As for women considering branching out into women as well as men, I’d consider myself a bit of an expert. You’ll get asked by horny straight guys about girl-girl-guy threesomes a lot, because you must be into doing both at the same time if you’re into both. Forget monogamy, even serially! You can spout out lofty ideals like, “I don’t want to limit my happiness on something as arbitrary as gender,” but ultimately what it comes down to is that you’re a slut.

If you do end up finding the person of your dreams one day and are ready for a lifetime commitment, you have a 50-50 chance of being recognized by the government and society as having a legal and moral union. Thankfully though you can forget having to limit your appreciation of pretty people to just one gender; entire casts of TV shows and movies can be attractive all at once for you! You might not want to start out with something like Heroes or Firefly or Enterprise; you’re going to need to ease into that sort of all-inclusive hotness slowly.

Well, I hope this has been helpful to all you “Homosexuality is a Choice” people out there. I’m personally hoping that everyone picks Bisexual Woman, but I know that’s not really an option for all you guys out there. I know that since your sexuality is a choice I should feel perfectly free to judge you all for it, but I can’t help but be a bit forgiving in that case.

Unless gender has suddenly become a choice too…[eyes you suspiciously]

Until next time, dear friends. Which may or may not be sooner than six months from now.

speshulduck @ 2007-04-29T09:48:00

2007-04-29T13:50:07Z

Look out, intarweb. I'm back.

speshulduck @ 2006-08-22T13:32:00

2006-08-22T17:44:34Z

Damn. I've been off the internet for six months. Six months! I say this in the manner of Jeremy Piven in Grosse Pointe Blank while he's stoned and telling John Cusak he's been gone for ten years. "Siiiiix MONTHS, man!"

And the great part is the answer is the same. I freaked out, joined the Army, and that's been my life. No professional killer in my future, but I am fully qualified on the M16-A2 rifle, have tossed a couple live grenades, and fired a whole metric shitload of other death-dealing weapons.

And also I'm a nerd learning about satellites. Mostly I'm here for the satellites. Here's the deal: I'm stuck at Ft. Gordon in hot-as-balls Georgia. I could be here till November or I could be here till May. If I leave in November I'm headed down to Ft. Stewart a couple hours away to join the Third Infantry Division. I'll probably get deployed to Iraq in early next year. If I'm here till May it means I'm doing a whole bunch of extra school to become a satellite controller, which is a job with non-deployable status. There are five places a controller can go, and one of those is Ft. Meade, Maryland. I'd probably end up with Okinawa or Germany though.

I never get to use the computer, but I should have regular access (and a laptop) in November either way. So, uh, I miss you all and I'll be back relatively soon.

speshulduck @ 2006-05-10T16:56:00

2006-05-10T21:04:53Z

So yeah, what's today?

Here's the rundown on AIT: it blows for computer time. I'm not allowed a personal computer at all and I'm probably going to be here till next year. Plus computer time at the rec center? $7.00 an hour. Why? Because they have this totally hot LAN set-up called MPOG. It kicks ass for doing things like playing Battlefield 2 and Unreal Tournament 2004, but internet surfing? Not so much. That means you'll not be seeing too much of me for the next...oh...ever. [sigh] And doing my usual things? Definitely not so much since the Army watches everything here. So don't say anything too bad to me.

Anyone want to send me the Doctor Who episodes I've missed? Downloading is out for obvious reasons, and I should be allowed a DVD player in a couple weeks. I'm almost ready to promise sexual favors, Army watching what I say or not. Friends-only entry coming up with my address in case you want to brighten my day with some snail mail.

Also, I want my Photoshop back. God, do I miss you guys.

I am an American Soldier.

2006-04-20T18:31:07Z

Heeeeey. Look who's graduating from Basic Training tomorrow! I don't have much time -- today's Family Day so I'm on my mom's laptop in her hotel room on post -- but I just wanted to say hi to everyone. I've missed you guys like whoa. I've done very well here (it seems I was born for the military or something). I'm even the Soldier of the Cycle, which means I'm supposed to be the best soldier in my company or something. I get an award out in front of everyone at graduation tomorrow. That's going to be fun, only not.

I'm off for AIT (Advanced Individual Training) on Saturday, and supposedly after the first couple weeks I'll get things like computer time and my iPod and cell phone. Here's to hoping I do, since they added about two months of training time onto my original commitment. Apparently I'll be there for five or six months. Who knows. I'm ready to be sent to Iraq is all I know. Nine weeks of hauling an M16 everywhere you go is enough to give anyone an itchy trigger finger.

If I have time later I'll make a detailed friends-only report on BCT, since I know everyone's just dying to know how to turn into a stone cold combat killer. Love you all!

(Also, I must know what I've missed in the Doctor Who world. New episodes? How successful is it in America? I've been away from the world for two and a half months. GIVE IT TO ME, PEOPLE!! And yes, I realize David Tennant's birthday was two days ago.)

speshulduck @ 2006-02-08T11:09:00

2006-02-08T16:10:29Z

I have a problem. My computer monitor suddenly stopped working yesterday. domestik_diva and I were ~~laughing at stupid people online~~ minding our own business while watching Doctor Who (City of Death = teh awesome, by the way) when it just blinked off. Now my computer is still running just fine upstairs, but if anyone's IMed me I can't see it.

So I guess this is good-bye. I have no stunning words of wisdom for you all, and if you have any for me I probably won't see them for a couple months. I am headed off for basic training in Ft. Jackson, South Carolina, and if I knew the address for it I'd beg for you guys to send me snail mail. I won't have any access to a computer for at least nine weeks, perhaps more depending on what goes on at AIT afterward. I'll be at AIT for fifteen weeks and then find out where my first duty station is. I'm definitely going to have internet and my busted computer after AIT, but before that I just don't know. I was thinking of buying a laptop at AIT, just cause I'm going to want a computer.

I'm going to miss you all horribly! I've made some fantastic new friends lately, not to mention all my good old friends that I feel like I've known forever. Please no one defriend me while I'm gone? And if you see any scandal with my name attached, defend my honor? Until next time; wank, love, and Doctor Who.

-duck

speshulduck @ 2006-02-05T10:58:00

2006-02-05T15:58:47Z

Huh. I wrote a fic for the Multiverse 2005 ficathon last summer. It was a Firefly/Star Trek TNG crossover that focused on River and I don't think it turned out half bad. I got lots of positive feedback on it and now I get an e-mail saying it's been nominated for some fandom award. I say again: huh. Aside from having the_cortex on my flist, I usually avoid the Firefly fandom like the plague.

I reread it and I think it's one of my more favorite things that I've ever written. It's clearly a crazy attempt at a crossover challenge that probably doesn't work, but it's kind of fun and River's voice is just all over the place. I'll probably edit it a bit and post it in my LJ later so I have a better archived copy to send in; bits of it got vaguely butchered in the upload to the ficathon website (like missing halves of words).

I probably won't even be around to see if it wins or not. Strange.

Fic: [Doctor Who] Never Flip the Urple Switch

2006-02-04T20:13:51Z

Title: Never Flip the Urple Switch
Author: duck
Rating: NC-17 for some very dirty words.
Doctor: Tenth
Summary: They would be together for always, their love an endless twining of two souls perfectly matched for companionship and two bodies perfectly matched for incessant rounds of passionate sex.
Author's Note: Here's your "heat-seeking missile of Time Lord love" and "blossoming rose petals," nostalgia_lj. As an unashamed David Tennant fangirl, here's my contribution to Urple Day.

(Um, today is the 4th of February, isn't it?)

Rose was horribly dejected. The Doctor had gone and changed and he was rude and not even ginger. His ears weren't big enough either, come to it. She'd loved the way the light shone through them at just the right angle, like light shining down from heaven through the silver-lined clouds.

Alas, just when she'd thought she had the courage to reach deep down inside her fragile heart and tell him how she felt, terrified of rejection from the one man she'd truly loved, he had gone and changed! And not in the way that most men changed, with a cruel indifference that would rip sadness through the soul of even the most buoyant girl, but rather with a personality she found she rather liked and a body she most definitely wanted to make mad, passionate love to until they both fell asleep from exquisite exhaustion.

How could he do this to her?! He smiled at her with that thin, pouty mouth that drove her to hysterics for wanting to kiss it and feel it between her blooming rose petals in the unmentionable-but-very-delightful region of her body. Sometimes when she caught sight of his tongue, she had to excuse herself because of the liquid hotness that plunged down into her belly with rushing arousal.

His hair; oh where to start?! She suspected that she could induce a screaming orgasm in herself just by running her hands through his soft, fluffy, and not-entirely-ungelled locks. When he'd first appeared in place of her old Doctor, she'd hung back not out of fear of him, but rather out of fear of what she'd do if she got too close to that big, magnificent pile of hair.

And then when she'd had to undress him and put on his pyjamas, she hadn't been able to resist the tortuous temptation of running her hands over his gorgeously pale new body. She'd almost touched his heat-seeking missile of Time Lord love, but had pulled her hand back at the last moment, the embarrassment flushing her face a most unfortunate shade of rouge. She had entertained many a fantasy since then of what it would be like to have his thick, enormous, pulsing member (because he had come back as a skinny white boy after all) thrusting its way into her love channel.

How could he do this to her?! She'd been perfectly fine with angsting over their inability to admit their feelings of true love to each other, but he had to go and change and make her want to do any number of naughty things that were just unspeakable to her innocent ears. They'd had a love that, while tacit and mostly unacknowledged, was pure and had no need for the messy complication of truly fantastic sex.

"Woe!" Rose cried out as crystalline tears of extreme angst streamed down her face. "Woe for my lost love and my beautiful temptation!"

"Rose? Is that you?" came the Doctor's voice from the hallway.

"Oh, sweet, melodic voice," she cried quietly to herself. "I cannot let him see me in such a state!"

"Rose?" he asked as he appeared in a shimmering halo in her doorway. "Listen, I think we have a problem." His perfect features crinkled as he frowned the poutiest, most beautiful frown she'd ever seen.

"Of course we have a problem!" she cried out, flinging herself at his legs and clutching tightly with the strength of true lust. "I want you to pound me into the mattress until I'm hoarse from screaming your name!"

"Uh, yes, that," he said, gripping her shoulders with his elegantly-shaped hands. "You see, I think the Urple Switch on the TARDIS controls is stuck again. The first time this happened Jamie had a very unfortunate incident with his kilt before I could fix it. Then there was that thing with Romana that I won't even go into for fear of doing permanent damage to your human brain. Thankfully, I am immune to its effects, but—"

"Do not speak to me of such things, my love!" Rose screamed passionately. "I want you to hold me and love me until the end of time!"

"Well, I could take you to the end of the universe and give you a quick hug as everything went," he conceded, his puppy dog brown eyes looking at a point somewhere behind her head in deep, meditative thought.

"But even the end of time could not stop the passion I feel for you!"

"Look," he said as he pulled her up into a standing position with his lovely arms. She really wished he wasn't wearing his clothes so she could see the way his muscles played under his creamy skin. "Rose, this Urple Switch is meant as a defensive measure in case the TARDIS is ever breached. It should keep everyone who's not me on board talking and thinking in such a silly state that they don't actually do anything. Why it never comes on at the times when I really need it, I've yet to figure out."

"Oh, Doctor, how can you not speak of our love! It consumes my very soul and burns it to tiny embers that glow for only you."

"Right," he said with a romantically decisive air. "I need to get to the control room and fix this. You should probably stay here."

"Oh, I could never be parted from you! I've already had to endure that awful trauma once; do not make me do it again!" she sobbed, reaching forward to cling to him once more.

"Okay," he drawled slowly, the word stretching into something more in his delicious mouth. How could he do that? He made normal words sound so erotic and arousing. "You come with me then, but you're going to have to sit quietly while I try to fix it."

"Just being with you is enough to sate my heart's true desire, my beloved Doctor."

She followed him obediently down the corridors of the TARDIS, trailing in his wake like an adoring puppy who has longed for a master to love and has finally found one. That was really nothing next to the devotion she felt flowing up from deep inside her. They could never be parted, truly. They would be together for always, their love an endless twining of two souls perfectly matched for companionship and two bodies perfectly matched for incessant rounds of passionate sex.

They reached the control room and he made her sit in the squeaky chair. She lost herself in watching the way the green light played sallow tricks on his skin, the way he twisted up the corner of his mouth as he worked, and the way he played his sonic screwdriver like a violin virtuoso.

"Mmm," she moaned, nearly delirious with the agony of needing him. She was torn between doing as her sweet love said and staying in her seat, and getting up to touch him. Oh, how she longed to touch him!

She rose from her seat, hungry to fulfil her burning need of contact. Just as she was about to reach his strikingly lanky form, there was a clicking sound. "A-ha!" he said triumphantly.

Rose stopped dead in her tracks and stared at the Doctor in horror, suddenly very painfully aware of what she'd been saying, thinking, and doing for the last hour. Even though his face was filled with nothing but concern, her own burned with shame.

"Oh, God," she croaked. She waved her hand in front of her as she tried to say more, but nothing came out. His intense gaze burned into her and she felt that maybe if she fainted she could get out of this okay.

No, she definitely wasn't going to faint any time soon. She was too aware of what she'd just done: made an absolute fool out of herself, probably looked barking mad too. She looked down and took in a deep breath and finally managed to get words out.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"We will never speak of this again."

[end]

speshulduck @ 2006-02-03T17:48:00

2006-02-03T22:48:55Z

Hmm, sum up of life:

1. I passed my PT test, so I am a go for the Army. Surprised myself by running a mile in 9:13. Considering a few weeks ago I couldn't run half a mile, I think that's pretty damn impressive. And also, only had to do three push-ups (not seven), so that was passed with ease.

2. This means I absolutely, 100% am shipping out for basic training as of 7:00 pm on Wednesday. [clings to flist] I'm going to miss you all SO MUCH! For serious. I don't know how much internet time I'll get once I graduate from basic and get to AIT at Fort Gordon, but hopefully enough to be like, "Hi, am alive. Someone plz to be sending me series two of Doctor Who now." It's bad enough that I'm finally missing the legal way to watch Doctor Who in my damn country, but I'll be missing my illegal access to the new series as well (and the inevitable drama, wank, meta, fic, etc that comes along with it). So if anyone wants to help me with that, that'd be fantastic ;)

3. misscam is teh awesome (for reasons other than her inherent awesomeness). She knows why.

4. drakyndra! I uploaded all of Takin Over the Asylum for you, except YSI says there are no downloads left. Since there haven't been any downloads at all, this pisses me off. I'm trying again with the regular YSI instead of beta, for both you and a request on uk_telly. Sorry this is taking so long :(

5. I get Skiffy Friday with my lil sister tonight! Yayfor gjinx being in town!

6. I'm not sure when I started refering to it as Skiffy Friday, but in any case I blame aj for that one.

Doctor Who and music and Doctor Who music

2006-01-31T17:00:53Z

First of all, watched the first couple episodes of City of Death with Shelley yesterday. Haha, I love this show.

Second, I was watching the first couple episodes of the O.C. with my sister (don't ask) and my mom was like "hey! You got a package from the UK!" I immediately squealed and leaped out of my chair in a most ungraceful fashion. Upon further reflection, I suppose I should be embarrassed about that, but it was justified. grapefruitzzz -- who is not even on my flist....[goes off to fix that] -- was kind enough to send me a DVD with Takin' Over the Asylum on it and a whole shitload of other fun things, like Genesis of the Daleks and Remembrance of the Daleks, a large folder of David Tennant pictures, DW audio adventures, and fun new music. I'm trying to decide which to watch first.

Finally, and most importantly, I have discovered the coolest thing in the world. You may have already heard about it since it's been out for a while, but there's this thing called American Edit, a mash-up album by some guys in Australia who call themselves Dean Gray. This alone is wicked cool for me because I am such Green Day fangirl and I think American Idiot is their best album to date. Also, I have discovered that I love mash-ups, which is where you take a bunch of songs and mash them together in a way that makes sense. For example, Boulevard of Broken Dreams is mashed together with Oasis's "Wonderwall," Travis's "Writing to Reach You," and Aerosmith's "Dream On." And it's good.

Here is the zip file of the whole album on YSI. And for the Doctor Who fans on my flist? Track two is called "Dr. Who on Holiday." These geniuses have mashed together the "Doctorin' the TARDIS" song and "Holiday," plus added bits of "Rock and Roll part two" (the Gary Glitter song that "Doctorin' the TARDIS" uses). Also, the beginning features a couple sound bites from Bush interspersed with Dalek fanaticism. Dean Gray for The Win!

Aside from that, they mash Green Day together with artists like U2, Queen, Ashanti, Johnny Cash, the Sex Pistols, and The Offspring, to name a few. They even work the Mission Impossible theme into it. This album is ~~illegal~~ love!